3.5 days after scratching on Day 2 of the #TourDivide, here is a video (originally posted on Instagram) explaining what happened. Essentially, I was unable to get food down and did not think I could get to the next resupply point without taking at least 24-36 hours off the bike. That meant (to me) that my race was over and it made sense to call it. Given that it has taken me three full days to feel good with eating solid food, I know I made the right choice. Still. Oof. Feeling pretty shit about needing to call it so early. So it goes.

CO2UT. So. First off. Ow.

I have never sworn during a race like I swore during this year’s CO2UT Utahraptor 125 miler. It is over 30 hours since the end of the race and I still have slight numbness in my left pinky finger from the jarring conditions found on this year’s course. Also, I might have mild PTSD from camouflaged sand traps.

The Diverge STR that I rented for this race was super capable and a solid choice for the course, but I would have loved to have had 45mm tires on it (up from 42) and a second wrapping of bar tape on the handlebars. Those two upgrades would have definitely reduced the beating my upper body and specifically my hands took during the bone jarring sections.

Given the Tour Divide is less than a month away and is my primary biking goal for this year, I treated CO2UT as a long, hard training ride. I wanted to test my fitness after months of training, but I was definitely not there to risk getting a Did Not Start (DNS) for the Tour by hurting myself. Given the two crashes I saw happen right in front of me and also the result of someone hitting a cattle guard at high speed, I am very comfortable with my choice.

And it cannot be understated: it is simply gorgeous out there. It was hard to stay focused on the road and not drift off staring at the views.

I feel like I need a conclusion here. Um. It was a race. It was brutal. I’m still recovering. I questioned multiple times why I do this stupid ass sport. I thought about quitting the Tour Divide and finding another hobby. Would I recommend this race to others? Only if you really hate yourself. Still. I might do it again. 🫠

@desertgravel #gravelbike #gravelrace #co2ut

With the copious amount of free time granted to me by not currently having a job, I am continuing to contemplate this year's race season and all the training that went along with it (part 1, part 2).

The current facet that I am mulling over for next year's goals and races is my talents vs my interests. As a cyclist, I have only been seriously training for a little over 18 months and have only owned a gravel bike slightly longer. In that time I have done a fair amount of cycling around Colorado and a number of races in Western states like Oregon, Utah, and Idaho. My training has been almost equally split between the trainer, road, and gravel. Overall, I think that is enough time and experience to know what my talents and interests are as a cyclist.

As in other sports I have participated in, I seem to be a solid all-around cyclist. Never the fastest, strongest, or most skilled but capable of doing almost everything reasonably well. Ok at everything, a superstar at nothing. The joy and curse of never completely focusing on any single sport and developing a true speciality. Still, my physical size and long history of being active has given me some noticeable strengths and weaknesses.

As a 182lbs, 6'1" male (82.6kg, 1.85m for the rest of the world), I am not a natural climber. To quote myself, I am just too damn dense. Training has definitely improved my power and ability to spin up hills as well as making me lighter. But, unless I lose 15lbs and focus my training on it entirely, I am probably never going to be a world class climber. I do love to climb though. Especially hard, challenging ascents with super steep and fast descents. It's simply fun!

On the flip side, With my weight and fairly decent power, if you put me on a flattish road, I am quite fast. On a cool, windless day, I would put even money on me being able to do a solo 100 miles in 5 hours on the roads north of Boulder. That is without anything like aero bars or a time trial bike. If I really dedicated myself to it, I bet I could be a somewhat competitive time trialist. And yet, um, no interest whatsoever. Spending that amount of money on a dedicated TT bike and aero improvements just so I can push myself hard and stare at the road while in an uncomfortable position? I dunno, seems boring as shit.

The above disinclination also covers doing track cycling. I tried running track in high school and dropped out after a month. Give me the open road, s'il vous plaît.

Given all the 100+ mile gravel races I have done, you would think I might have a fondness for endurace racing. And, well, you would be right! It is very gratifying being out on gravel roads, away from one's busy modern life, and just cruising through nature. And I am moderately good at biking for long distances. Yes, it gets tiring being on the bike that long and it requires oodles of calories to keep me fueled, but it is satisfying on many levels. What I am not good at is long distances in hot weather. Even with heat training and careful fueling + hydration, my body starts losing the hydration game around the 4th hour. So, I prefer endurance racing when it is cooler, wetter, and a bit more sheltered from the sun. Sort of how Unbound XL ended up in 2022. 🤔

Tina happens to be doing cyclocross this autumn and having a blast. Given my ability to put out power quickly, I was very tempted to also participate. However, I've had a broken bone, serious sprain, or other injury almost every year for the past 5 years. Given the intense competitive nature of cyclocross (especially with males in their 40s) and my relatively newbie bike handling skills, I thought I would take this year off from visiting the ER or urgent care. But, if I stick with cycling through next autumn, I might give it a shot.

Speaking of high speed, manic bike activites, there are also criteriums. For the same reason as cyclocross, I have not explored this aspect of cycling culture. Crashing at 30mph on pavement because I had my wheel tapped by another cyclist while navigating a street corner...I mean, I'm no longer in my 20s and eager for such "fun".

So, where does this leave us? First, long endurance rides on gravel surrounded by nature in cooler, wetter weather. Second, challenging hill climbs with fast descents. Third, a possibility of cyclocross in the future once I gain more skills and less of an aversion to crashing.

You know, part of me thinks all of that combined sounds a great deal like adventure racing...

Most adventurous, outdoorsy, athletic people are well acquainted with the Three Types of Fun (explained here and here). To simplify it, here is how I think of the three types of fun:

• Type 1: Wooooo!!
• Type 2: LOL, that was nuts. Do it again?
• Type 3: WTF?! Never again.

Now, I have had my share of all three types and greatly prefer the first two, by leaps and bounds. I am not against Type 3 fun, but it has to be towards some purpose or worthwhile goal. In short, I am against suffering for the sake of suffering.

As I think back to my past two race seasons on the bicycle, I have discovered that the races where I firmly slipped into Type 3 fun are the ones I have no intention of doing again. I suffered during a couple races this year and ended up feeling wrecked afterwards. And when I try to find some benefit from doing those two races, I find none. No chance of being on the podium, no amazing views that took me away from the pain, and no bonding experiences with other racers during the race. In point of fact, they felt like suffering for the sake of suffering. Thumbs down. Hard.

And here's the flip side. There is always a possibility that a previous Type 3 activity could be turned into a Type 2. I did Rexy in 2021 and ended up DNF'ing with my body feeling like shit for days afterwards. Unlike Oregon Trail Gravel Grinder and RPI's Queen Stage Race though, I have continually thought about doing Rexy again. While the race cracked me (and cracked me hard), I still have a handful of positive thoughts that make me want to do it again someday. The scenery was beautiful, I had a great crew, and the first section was enjoyable despite my freezing feet. Sure, I could barely move my body the next day and sitting was hard for weeks, but I can foresee me one day (with a few better bike and clothing choices) having a great Rexy race.

I am keeping all of this in mind as I start to slowly consider what challenges I will put on the calendar for next year. Unbound XL is on there as it toes that line between Type 2 and Type 3 with the possibility for some really enjoyable moments and being a solid accomplishment. The Great Divide Bike Route is also tempting me. It's been nearly 10 years since I thru-hiked the PCT and I feel I am past due for a grand adventure. Let's not forget the Montana Bike Odyssey, which I almost did this year and just looks stunning.

I am also contemplating an international trip as I have not been out of the country in a good long while. There is a race around Scotland, the Rift in Iceland, and one must admit that the Alps or Mallorca are pretty gorgeous too.

Decisions, decisions...

With the shutting down of buddhi in August, I am once again doing a job hunt. And while job hunting is rarely an enjoyable experience, this one has been far and away my most frustrating one. So far.

Part of it is the fact that whenever I apply for a job, I rarely know what the interview process is going to be like. There are some companies that legitimately think 8+ hours of inteviewing with multiple technical challenges is the correct approach. While on the other end of the specturm, one company scheduled only three interviews where I simply talked with the hiring manager, the engineers on the team, and finally the CTO. A rather more friendly, informative, and personable approach in my opinion.

And the technical screenings are a complete toss up. I had a company ask me to build a Binary Tree from an array on a whiteboard. Another wanted me to solve the Maximum Index problem in my preferred language and then answer a dozen Computer Science questions. You know...those really important problems that always come up when building a web application. 🙄

My personal favorite recently was a take-home coding challenge that had an expected completion time of five hours. Naturally, the requirements for this challenge were poorly thought out and were written in a text file with two mistakes in it. Definitely the sort of challenge that a software engineer with two decades of experience is eager to do. I waved goodbye and moved on.

I was also tickled pink when a Director of Engineering admitted he had learned coding from software that I wrote...and yet still wanted me to take their coding challenge. A little flexibility on this point may have been wise, just saying.

Skipping past the time commitment, which is truly fun when you remember I am interviewing at multiple companies, and also the wacky technical screens, I would like to talk about the ghosting. Two weeks ago I finished a company's entire interview process and then heard nothing for 10 days. I had to poke the outside recruiter to contact them and when he finally heard back, he was brushed off with a vague "We're moving in a different direction." with no additional details or feedback. It was the second company to ghost me like this. Seems incredibly unprofessional.

So, here I am fours weeks later, and I am starting my entire job hunt over.

Now, I expect job hunting to require some effort. It is you and a company trying to see if you're a match because it is an investment into what is hopefully a long term relationship. I also expect some manner of screening by a company to ensure that my resume is legit. There are scammers out there and a smart company will want to confirm one's credentials, so to speak.

However. Throughout my long (looooonnng) work history, I have been a CTO (twice), VP Engineering, Software Architect, Lead Engineer, Principal Software Engineer, and Senior Software Engineer. My resume includes building blog software, a CMS, a framework, multiple SaaS applications, and rewriting or maintaining numerous large scale applications. And my skills have me able to handle everything from creating a new icon, designing a website, building an entire frontend application, building the entire backend, managing servers, and deploying. I've got some skills and experience.

I have also been the primary technical interviewer for multiple companies and I truly believe an experienced technical interviewer can assess someone like me with an in-depth conversation. In fact, my most positive interview experiences were when exactly that happened. Further, anecdotally, the companies with the most exhausting technical interview processes tend to have the worst applications and engineering culture problems.

With all that in mind, if you are looking for a software engineer, I highly suggest you keep the following in mind:

• Post your salary range in the job description. It is one of the most important pieces of information to a candidate and is now legally required in Colorado and California.
• Post your interview process in the job description. A short description of each step and expected time duration.
• If you have more than 4 hours of interviewing for candidates, seriously reconsider your process and determine if this amount of time is really necessary. Candidates are interviewing at multiple companies, may have a current job, and need to schedule around their own life. Also, the mental strain is already intense, do not make it worse.
• Evaluate your technical screens for what information you really need and want. Keep them short and tight. Train your interviewers and standardize on questions and how to evaluate answers.
• Coding challenges should be no more than 2 hours, unless you are paying candidates for their time. The instructions should be clearly written, concise, and presented well.
• Do NOT ghost candidates. A simple email within 24 hours of every interview step, even if turning them down, is better than having candidates left wondering. Be honest and straightforward; you are representing your company here.

DOOM!!

With race season over, I thought a little race recap was in order. Here are my thoughts on each race and stage:

• Old Man Winter Rally. Brrrrr. Incredibly cold feet by the end. And the conditions in a couple parts–like Bow Mountain Rd–were super dicey. Overall though, I would highly recommend, just with dedicated cold weather biking footwear and maybe an extra layer + warm gloves for the Sunshine descent.
• Boulder Roubaix. For a race we signed up for last minute in the middle of a training cycle, this was my favorite race of the year and I ended up with 5th place in Cat 5. If I had known that a podium spot was within reach, I would have changed my tires and pushed much harder in the beginning gravel sections to break the group apart. Who knew you could race gravel and be done in an hour?
• CO2UT. Canceled thanks to a heavy downpour the afternoon before turning parts of the course into deep, sticky mud. The Colorado Monument was a nice consolation prize. Still, I felt ready for this race and thought I was going to nail it. Bummer.

• Oregon Trail Gravel Grinder (OTGG)

  • Day 1. Miles of loose, deep sand. Oof! The short downhill volcanic rock bit hardly qualified as a trail but was crazy fun. The downhill sections on gravel roads were a bit cursed with many small branches on the road and dappled light, which made it a bit hard to make sure you were not going to hit a branch and crash. Those downhills made me want those fancy photochromic bike sungalsses.
  • Day 2. The nearly 4000' climb in the beginning was boring. The latter half was way more fun, especially needing to navigate over short snowbanks. More dappled light on the gravel roads, which caused me to hit a pothole so hard that both water bottles went flying and I was fearful my gravel wheels were finished. Thankfully not.
  • Day 3. Despite the warm temps and a stick in my derailleur, I hit the uphill TT hard and felt proud that I did as well as I did. The taco stand aid station was not appealing to me, I would have greatly preferred a cooler of ice with tasty drinks (the one they had was empty). The downhill TT was a bit nuts and my life flashed before my eyes when a rider in front of me fishtailed and nearly lost it.
  • Day 4. Hot, dry conditions, one aid station without ice, next aid station without any drinks besides warm water. Miles and miles of loose sand at the end. Got bad heat exhaustion and probably needed a trip to the ER for an IV. Ended up feeling ill all night.
  • Day 5. I bailed and got a ride to the finish. Another 80 miles in that heat and exposure seemed like a recipe for disaster.
• NedGravel Ultra. Got COVID less than 2 weeks before the race thanks to Oregon Trail Gravel Grinder and did not race. Bummer. I was looking forward to that course.

• Rebecca's Private Idaho: Queen's Stage Race

  • Stage 1, Adventure Day. I survived and did not crash! I do not enjoy racing such tight, tough conditions with riders right on my tail, but I do always gain more skills on race days like this. Lost a nearly full water bottle with 59g of carbs in it, so I had to ration my water and snacks on the Harriman Trail section. Did not bonk but I was definitely drained at the end and needed a couple recovery shakes to rebound.
  • Stage 2, Dollarhide Time Trial. Holy shit, Tina did not catch up to me! She only beat me my time by 0.6s. Maybe I am not complete shit?
  • Stage 3, Baked Potato. Fuck the heat. Fuck the dry, dusty roads. Curse the 20mph+ head winds. And large pickup trucks barreling down roads kicking up huge clouds of dust can go straight to hell. Even on day 4 of Oregon Trail Gravel Grinder I did not consider quitting but I almost quit during this stage of RPI. Fairly wrecked at the end and I have sworn off ever doing this race in the heat again.

My overall place for RPI:QSR was higher than expected and by the numbers I did well, especially considering how COVID kicked my ass and killed my fitness in July. Still, that race was almost entirely Type 3 fun, which is not how I like riding my bike, so I think QSR and OTGG are the sort of races I will be avoiding in the future. Bring on the autumn weather!

It has now been nine full years since I finished thru-hiking the PCT. And since I am currently unemployed and can only bake so many loaves of sourdough, I have created a little movie of that summer. All photos are mine and were shot on an iPhone 5.

With the 2022 race season wrapping up with only RPI remaining, I have started pondering what I want to focus on for the autumn and what races might be tempting for 2023. And I keep on coming back to wondering if I want to race at all in 2023.

A fair amount of that uncertainity is stemming from me having a less than stellar race season. My first two races–Old Man Winter (Feb 6th) and Boulder Roubaix (Apr 16th)–were fun, early season races that were not meant to be full effort races. Heck, for the Roubaix, I still ended up doing a 2 hour training ride immediately after. I did reasonably well during both races, even getting a 5th place finish in the Boulder Roubaix Cat 5 category, but they were never intended to be full, pedal to the metal race efforts.

My first real A Race was meant to be CO2UT (Colorado to Utah) on April 23rd. We showed up to Fruita and I felt ready. My energy levels were high, my legs felt strong, and I thought the race was going to be exceptionally fast and fun. Sadly, the weather gods were unkind and rain fell the afternoon and night before the race, which turned parts of the course into a muddy, sloppy, peanut butter mess that made the conditions too dangerous for a large group of racers. The race got canceled and I missed my chance to see how fast I was after a winter of training. Boo! The consolation prize of doing the beautiful Colorado Monument instead of racing relieved the sting a bit.

Tina then did Unbound XL at the beginning of June and I am kicking myself a bit for not doing it too. Unbound takes place in Kansas and typically has some fairly warm weather, bordering on abusively hot some years. This year was a bit of a switch with hard rains in the days preceding the race and then some fairly mild, cloudy conditions during the race. This made the course fast and I think I would have reasonably enjoyed the experience. Or at least as much as you can when biking 350 miles on gravel without sleeping. Oh well, maybe next year.

My next race was the Oregon Trail Gravel Grinder (OTGG) in Central Oregon. Now, it took a long while for me to convince myself to sign up for this race. My body does not respond well to hot weather, especially when there is also direct sun at elevation; central Oregon in late June on volcanic rock is not exactly known for its cool, refreshing weather. Further, in 2021 this race took place during the PNW heat dome weather event, which had temperatures well above 100 degress Fahrenheit. 🥵

Still, Tina was going to be in Portland, Oregon for a conference that week and the race had the potential to be a fun experience with overnight camping and provided meals, so I signed up and hoped for the best.

Prior to driving down to Bend with my friend Eric, the weather in the PNW was wet, wet, wet. We had traveled and visited family in Washington the week prior and by the time we finally arrived in Portland, I was feeling a bit worn down from the travel and doing about half my training rides in the rain. My energy levels were a bit low and I was not feeling very energetic about racing. Still, we drove down and I tried to get my head in the mental game.

The first three days of the race went fine. I put out solid power numbers and I kept on top of my hydration and nutrition. It was definitely warm though. The third day involved an uphill time trial with the last third in direct sun and I felt COOKED when I got to the top of the climb. While there were challenges with aid stations running low on drinks and snacks, the shorter distances of the first three days made it manageable.

Day 4 though, I blew up and blew up pretty bad. The first part of the race had two climbs totalling nearly 7000' in 40 miles. My Garmin registered a temperature of 93 during the exposed top of the second climb and while I recovered a bit during the muddy, wet part afterwards...I was not feeling too great. And then when I arrived at the second aid station, miles after that last climb, I discovered they were completely out of ice. Ugh. Still, the aid station had water and I was pushing fluids down as quickly as I could. Onwards!

Unfortunately, the next section was just miles and miles of sand with a gravel road of dark lava rock afterwards. It was punishing and I found myself getting passed by a number of riders. By the time I reached the third aid station, I was overheated, very dehydrated, and desperate for shade and something cool to drink.

Well, the third aid station was off the side of a hot road with absolutely no cool drinks left. I have never seen a more disappointed group of riders than at that aid station. I found some ice at the bottom of a cooler and put that against my face and neck while a friend poured water over my head. Even though I felt like shit, I only spent about 10 minutes at that aid station because the temperature was easily 95° or hotter with no wind. I headed off and then had to pull off to the side of the road minutes later to have a bit of puking. Always a good sign, right?

That last bit to the finish was on more volcanic rock and then miles and miles of sand before arriving on blessed pavement. I reached the finish and THANK THE GODS there were two coolers full of cold drinks. It was off the side of the road and exposed again, but it was enough to give me the energy to reach the campground 5 more miles away (with more sand on the way too).

I reached camp and was a complete mess. I was suffering from bad heat exhaustion borderline heat stroke. The "medical" tent was useless and I was tempted to find a way to a medical facility for an IV. In retrospect, that would have been the smart choice as I spent the rest of the day and night drinking liters of fluids and trying to get my body back to feeling normal. Even with a concerted effort to rehydrate and recover, I still woke up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break and had to sit down on the way back to my tent as my body felt like passing out. Suffice to say, I skipped Day 5 of OTGG and got a ride to the finish. My first DNF (Did Not Finish) of 2022.

Here's the kicker. Two days after getting back to Portland, I woke up with a deep cough in my chest and tested positive for COVID-19 the following day. Seems in my weakened state at OTGG, I had caught COVID from someone despite spending 99% of my time outside or inside with a mask. Tina learned via Facebook gossip that there were riders who had knowingly gone to Oregon Trail Gravel Grinder after testing positive for COVID. Naturally, there was no COVID precautions in place during the race and not even a box of masks for when dinner was indoors during the last night.

Thanks to COVID kicking our asses for three weeks, we missed the NedGravel race up in the mountains above Boulder. A pretty big disappointment as it was supposed to my second A Race of the season. Given CO2UT was my early season A Race and it got canceled by rain, I have now missed 2 of my 3 top races for the season.

The last race I have planned for the season is the Queen's Stage Race of Rebecca's Private Idaho at the beginning of September. We did this 3-day stage race last year and it seemed worth doing it again. We will know a slew of people there and it is a good opportunity to see how our skills and fitness have developed over the last year of dedicated training. The downside is that COVID took us off the bike for weeks and then we spent weeks recovering from the lingering effects while building our strength back up. Only in the past week have I finally start feeling as strong as I felt at the end of May.

So. Yeah. That's been my summer race season so far: 1 canceled race, 1 DNF'd thanks to heat exhaustion, 1 skipped for COVID; with only 1 race remaining to see the results of nearly 9 months of fairly focused training.

Right now my plan is to spend most of September just having joy rides up in the mountains with a couple days of focused training per week. Get out, stretch the legs, explore, get a little lost, and not think about things like intervals. I would also like to spend 2-3 days a week doing exercises to get my knees and ankles prepared for a little running and serious hiking too. After that, I can start planning my goals for winter and next year.