Music

I never used to be a sit-on-the-floor-and-listen-to-music person, but I turned into one last year. It is probably my favorite way to ground myself after a long day. Here are the notable additions to my library this winter.

• Never Alone (feat. Lizzy Land) Odd Mob Random find on Apple Music and really handy for those long winter runs on the treadmill.
• Wish That You Were Here Florence and the Machine This song always makes me think of a woman who appeared in my life at exactly the right moment last year. Our conversations rekindled the hope that I might find someone again. Thinking of her leaves me with a small smile, every single time. Wish I knew the right seven words.
• Movement Hozier Never knew of this song until I saw it on a dancer's Instagram story and now it is part of my warmup and stretching playlist.
• What’s a Man Gotta Do Jonas Brothers I am clearly going through a phase.
• WHERE IS MY HUSBAND! RAYE Having a hard time getting motivated for a 5am gym workout? This one gets me going. It also just cracks me up.
• Halo Theme Martin O'Donnell & Michael Salvatori The music of the Halo games trigger some really good memories from that time in my life.
• Winter Songs Ola Gjeilo & Choir of Royal Holloway Late night work music.
• Fairytale Secret Garden The Fae are calling and I must dance the night away in their secret glen.
• Coastline Hollow Coves You know when you listen to a song and it just pulls random memories to the surface? This song? I think I listened to it about 10 times in a row one night and each time I remembered something different. It's almost a love letter to the PNW for me.
• Classical Bangers Playlist Old and new favorites. Solid list of bangers here.
• Sleep on the Floor The Lumineers A theme song for the Pacific Crest Trail.

Books

This was a bit of an off-season for reading. Something about the early darkness every night and a bit too much doomscrolling, and I just have not gotten through as many books as I would normally. I also had multiple misstarts, where I started a book and after about an hour decided it was not for me. Here are the ones I did get through.

Peter Pan by J.M. Barie - I think it is quite likely the last time I read this book was during a family trip in the Midwest when I was 12 or so; I brought an entire slew of "classic" books and went through them at a rapid pace. I remember rather liking Peter Pan back then but not this time around. It felt just a little dated and slightly misogynistic. At least we still have Hook (see below).

The King Must Die by Kemi Ashing-Giwa - A random find in the new books section of the library. I liked the overall idea of the story, but the implementation fell short, almost like it needed a few more rewrites. If anything, I think it needed to be 50% longer with more details and more time for things to develop coherently. It felt rushed.

Redshirts by John Scalzi - Recommended by a fellow Trekkie. I did not even read the back cover before starting this, and it was not quite what I expected. It was fine, but ultimately it felt like a bad episode of a Star Trek knockoff, which may have been the point. Honestly, the premise was solid, but it was another case where the implementation felt weak. I think if the seriousness had been dialed up a notch and the flippant humour been less childish, I would have really loved this.

The Maine Woods by Henry David Thoreau - A friend gave this to me back when I moved from Portland, Oregon, to an island off the coast of Portland, Maine. There is even a lovely inscription in the book. I have never had the love of Thoreau that other outdoorsy men of a certain age seem to have, but I do like his description of the Maine woods. Reading this actually made me quite sad, as there were certain terrible announcements coming out from the Department of the Interior while reading it. I cannot believe how many people think the natural world is only there for us to exploit and profit off of. Breaks my heart.

Calvin and Hobbes collections - I used to own every single collection of Calvin and Hobbes comics, including the complete collection in hardback with additional artwork from Watterson. I adore this comic. It was formative. It was critical to my upbringing, nearly as much as Star Trek and Lord of the Rings. And when I am overly contemplative or unsettled, it grounds me and brings me joy.

The Summer Tree by Guy Gavriel Kay - Recommended by a friend; one whose opinion I always take seriously. I weirdly missed this series entirely. I am not sure how, as it is not exactly unknown. The writing is definitely a product of its time. Just like early sci-fi pulp, there is a certain rhythm and flow that this book has that says to me: late 70s and early 80s writing. The first half did not grab me, but I am glad I kept with it, as the second half piqued my interest, and I will likely grab the next book in the series at some point.

Crow Talk by Eileen Garvin - The Music of Bees has been recommended to me by no less than three friends, so when I found this, another novel by the same author, at the library one day, I picked it up. Loved it. I do not want to say too much, except it takes place near Mt. Adams, and I would be surprised if it was not in my Top 5 books for 2026.

The Best of World’s Classics, Volume 1 + 2. - The Mothership grabbed this for me back last spring from the Ocean Shores library, as she knows my Reedie nature to gobble up the classics. As it is excerpts from longer works, the chapters are rarely more than 20 pages long, so it is a great intermission between other books. My greatest surprise is how much more I enjoy Thucydides now than back in 1997.

TV Shows

The Expanse, first 4 episodes - Quite possibly the most realistic sci-fi show ever made. And, I still love the theory that For All Mankind is a prequel to The Expanse. I would recommend this to any science fiction lover. And the books are pretty great too.

Firefly, Season 1 - Nathan Fillion has been teasing on social media that an announcement involving the cast of Firefly is coming on March 15. I love this series so much that, back in the DVD days, I kept buying copies and giving them to friends just to make sure they watched it. I even saw an unfinished preview cut of Serenity in a theater, and when THAT MOMENT happens, I have never heard an audience go so suddenly silent, then cry out the way they did right then.

Movies

Inside Out - Recommended by a friend given my emotional turmoil in 2025. Solid film. I see why so many adults found it relatable. Will watch the sequel at some point.

Mulan - Recommended by friends with and without children. And, honestly, it did not speak to me. The story just felt so outlandish and frequently nonsensical that I could not really relax and enjoy it.

Hook! - Robin Williams as a grown up Peter Pan, who has to rescue his children from a vengengeful Captain Hook, played by Dustin Hoffamn. I mean, seriously, this was like catnip for a 12-year-old Paul. Far better than the original book.

Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Extended Editions (of course) - These films continue to be cinematic masterpieces, and I still am blown away that Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, and the rest pulled this off. They are exceptional. I watch the entire trilogy straight through about once a year, and this year I really needed to revist these old mellyn in February.

Captain America, The Winter Solider and Captain America, Civil War - Winter Soldier is the best Marvel film in Phase Two. They nailed it. Chris Evans and cast are just perfect in their roles, the fight scenes are mind blowingly well done, and it is uplifting to see characters doing what is Right, no matter what. Civil War is a bit weaker for me, but I think part of that is because I remember reading all the various Civil War comics back in the day and do not feel like this single film did that storyline justice.

Braveheart - I still really love this film. The music, the sweeping shots of Scotland, the rousing speeches, the betrayals, the comedic moments; and I saw it at the perfect age for it to instill in me a lifetime love of Scotland.

Chronicle, Director’s Cut - A found footage sci-fi film that has a number of actors you will recognize. I remember seeing it in theaters and being impressed by both the story and the special effects. It still holds up as a clever take on what might realistically happen if three high school seniors suddenly gained telekinetic powers, and the consequences that might follow as one of them loses control.

It’s hard to believe how much got fit into 46. The first half was about life falling apart and the second half was about rebuilding. I am not sure what to think about 47. I cannot say I am really optimistic about the future right now. It seems like once a decade I get body slammed so hard to the mat that I barely can get myself back up. And now it is not just me but the entire world that is on the ground and struggling to get up. But what other choice is there? We have to get up. We have to carry on. We gotta keep on keeping on.

That was a memorable year of life…

Still protesting.
Still calling.
Still writing.
Still donating.
Still posting, commenting, liking, sharing.
Still befuddled.
Still facepalming.
Still tired.
Still angry.
So very angry.

Still trying.
Still hoping.

Still doubting.
Still saving.
Still planning.
Still here.

But.
Should I leave?

For a few years now, I have been following a path of very structured training, and it is only after fully abandoning it in April that I realized how little it served me. Not in the sense that it did not produce results, but more that my personality does not like my athletic pursuits to be treated as “work” and a second job.

I have seen too many people on this path, and while it may have made them stronger, faster athletes, I think it also had the consequence of making them… less. Less fun, less well-rounded, and so focused on results that they lost why they enjoyed being athletic and outside in the first place. Because, honestly, if you are only thinking about workout times, power numbers and zones, and recording every single meal and snack…that is not fun; that is obsession.

So, I spent the second half of 2025 switching back to finding the joy and fun of just being strong and athletic. I have not done a single structured workout since March. I have still been methodical and mindful about how I am exercising, but it is far more flexible and enjoyable than what I was doing previously. Also. Not a single moment on a trainer inside. I cannot express how much I did not enjoy spending 3-5 hours on the trainer last winter most days.

And my FTP has gone up over 20 watts in the past 8 months. I feel stronger. Hills that felt hard last year barely seem to register now. And I still have a deep well of endurance and resiliency. All of this while taking up swimming and running again and working a full-time job.

Here are 2025’s overall stats:

• 9,653.7 mi
• 513,837 ft
• 570.5 hours => 23.8 days
• Lowest amounts since 2021
• Biked around Olympic Peninsula in 2 days (341 miles)
• Attempted The Kraken, which is essentially the Boulder Octopus with the addition of Ward and SuperJames. 18K of elevation. Alas, just as I was starting Lee Hill, the skies opened up with freezing rain and I had to bail. Next time.
• Gravel bike: New rear derailleur, rebuilt wheel, lots of brake pads; still the same chain and chainring!

• Last run: December 10th 2019
• Started with 2-3 mile walks and worked up
• First run outside: June 14th
• Now up to 6.5 miles at 12 min pace
• 93.2 miles total

• Mostly used for recovery, but also was part of my mental therapy this year.
• 265 miles, 81 hours

• Last swim: July 10, 2019
• Up to about 1.2 miles
• 124,172 yd => 70.6 miles

• 760 hours => 31.7 days (!!)
• Estimated 528,796 Calories burned, 454,500 from cycling alone

2025. What a horrifically bad year, all things considered. But. I am currently in my favorite café, drinking a cortado, after four days of delightful bike riding, with a home, and finally money back in my savings account. Significant problems remain, to be sure. Still, over the past few weeks, I have finally felt the iron grip of tension around my body begin to loosen. Yesterday, for the first time in nine months, I felt a genuine sense of humor return.

Nearly every night I take a walk, and I have been considering this a great deal over the past couple of weeks: this is the kind of year when people show themselves for who they really are. Who and what they value. What they will show up for and stand up for. Will they have a voice and use it, or will they remain silent and hide, living their life as if things are not what they are. In years like this, refusing to act is itself an act.

And actions matter. Words are hollow without follow-through. Thoughts and prayers amount to very little unless they lead to action. Remember that when looking at your Representatives, friends, and family in the new year. Hold people accountable to their actions. Remember who spoke up when it mattered. Remember who did not. Notice who shows up when it costs them something. Notice who disappears. Deeds do not lie. The measure of a person is not how they show up during the good times, but how they show up during the bad times.

Those who do not? Kick them out. They are weak tea. You deserve coffee. You deserve people who rev your engine, help you drop your shit, and get you going in the morning. You do not deserve people who will abandon you when you need them most.

I wish most of you well. But my wishes matter little. Probably the hardest lesson of this year that I learned—or actually relearned—is you cannot rely on anyone else to fix or change your life. Carpe diem, my little toe beans.

Stormlight Archive [books 1-4] by Brandon Sanderson

Brandon Sanderson is a solid writer. He knows how to create an entire world, complete with ecosystem and history, extremely well. Not only that, but he creates characters that most of us can identify with, even if they are princes or warriors with supernatural powers. And the man can produce content like no one's business. One wonders how he is producing so many novels and novellas while still doing events and engaging with the public. Once I returned to Boulder and got my own place, I wanted something that could absorb my attention after work hours to help me escape from my own problems and these really delivered. They are quite hefty though, so it was a bit of hard work to get through them before they were due back at the library.

Dawnshard [novella] by Brandon Sanderson

I swear, I was only at the library to drop off a couple of books but as I perused the new books section (as one does), there was the most recent Stormlight novella simply waiting for me to find. Sure I had two other books in progress, but one does not ignore fate. So, I picked it up. Totally worth it. In fact, by the end, I wanted a typical 1000+ page Sanderson novel in order to give me even more time with this character and her story.

The Slow Regard of Silent Things by Patrick Rothfuss [novella]

Auri is this mysterious waif of a woman that you never know what to make of in The Kingkiller Chronicle novels. You know there is more to her. There are strong hints she has real power and a tragic backstory. Does this novella provide any answers? Nope, not a one. In fact, it adds a few more questions. However, you understand her a bit more. You explore her way of seeing the world a bit more. It's good. It's really good. But, if you have not read Name of the Wind and Wise Man's Fear AND enjoyed them, this is probably not for you.

The Narrow Road Between Desires by Patrick Rothfuss [novella]

I had read "The Lightning Tree" before, but this is a rewritten and expanded version of that story. I rather enjoy how Rothfuss writes Bast and the two other major Fae creatures in his books. Bast is dark, maniupulative, playful, and intriquing in how he sees people (and children). Similar to "The Slow Regard of Silent Things", if you do not enjoy Rothfuss' other works, this is probably not for you. If you do though, this is not to be missed.

Maria: a novel of Maria von Trapp by Michelle Moran

In what feels like a fluke of ignorance, I never realized The Sound of Music was based on a real Austrian family. As someone who is quite fond of the muscial, I enjoyed this dramatic telling of her life. The first half is a bit slow, but it pays off in the second half.

Wednesday, Season 2 [TV show]

This series has no business being this enjoyable. The first season was so much better than my expectations, and this season adds more of what I loved while slowly expanding the boundaries of its story telling. I hope they keep up the magic, as I really have high expectations for season 3, given what I have read online.

Witcher, Season 4 [TV show]

There was a great deal of gnashing of teeth about Henry Cavill being replaced by Liam Hemsworth, especially since Cavill left because of “creative differences” (which seems to be Hollywood speak for “this was shit and I did not want to be there anymore”). That is a fair criticism. Before this show, I had only read one Witcher book, and it did not really seize my imagination until I saw the first season, which I quite enjoyed. By season 3, you really felt the wheels coming off the storyline and the writing, and season 4, sadly, is no different. Every single episode left you wondering why you were supposed to care about half of what was going on, or genuinely confused about character motivations.

I will say this, Liam was an excellent Geralt. If we had never seen Cavill in the role, I bet most everyone would have felt he did the character justice. In some ways, he was a superior Geralt too. While Cavill definitely showed a growling, loner outcast who killed monsters for coin, he was a version of Geralt you never fully accepted as someone who would have friends or relationships. Liam gives us a warrior who you genuinely believe cares about people, and who wants to save those he cares about.

Slow Horses, Season 5 [TV show]

I purchased AppleTV, solely so I could binge this show, as I loved the first four seasons. Another solid season. And season 6 is already scheduled for next year. Love it.

Pluribus [TV show]

I saw the trailer for this series and immediately thought to myself, "Oh, it's Unity from Rick & Morty!" Kind of. The idea is not an uncommon trope in science fiction, but this is a solid spin on the idea. I would advise waiting until episode 3 to pass judgment, as there is a great deal that is being setup in the first two episodes and the main character is initially quite annoying. The season is still ongoing, but if you have AppleTV, I would give it a watch.

Howl's Moving Castle [movie]

Studio Ghibli Fest 2025 brought this movie back to theaters so I caught it on a Tuesday night after work. My best friend and I disagree on the best way to see this film, either with the dubbing or the subtitles. However, I love the voice actiing of Billy Crystal, Christian Bale, and Emily Mortimer in the dubbed version, and it was also the first version I ever saw of the film. This time the theater was only showing the subtitled version, which is equally as good. The music, the art, the story; it is my favorite Miyazaki movie and that is saying something. I was grinning before, during, and after watching this on the big screen.

Back to the Future [movie]

Another movie that was brought back to the big screen this fall. And fuck yeah, it was amazing. I have never saw this on the big screen, as I was too young when it first came out, but this was an absolute treat. And since nearly all the special effects are practical, it holds up exceptionally well. Truly one of the best popcorn films of all time.

Clue [movie]

On a long bike ride, I randomly started thinking about this film and thought October was a perfect time to rewatch it. It was not as good as I remembered it, which saddens me a bit. I remember finding this hilarious when I was younger, but ultimately I was a bit lukewarm on this rewatch. Is it age? No idea.

Jeremiah Johnson [movie]

Robert Redford died and I rewatched my favorite movie of his. This is the film that made me want to be a mountain man. It could almost be a silent picture, as there is so little dialog. Worth watching for anyone who has felt the urge to leave civilization behind and head up into the mountains.

Spy Game [movie]

Another Robert Redford film. Excellent. Solid. Well acted. A spy thriller with humor, charm, and an almost no-nonsense take on the world. Brad Pitt also shines in this.

Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves [movie]

Oh, Costner, you silly man. And is that Morgan Freeman? Look at that devilshly young Christian Slater! This is an early 90s popcorn film with a good amount of heart, a charming cast, and a fun story. Alan Rickman practically kills with every single line. I adore this film. I could rewatch it every year with delight.

AppleTV's Fountain of Youth [movie]

Upon watching the trailer there was some hesistancy about watching this, but I had an AppleTV subscription and nothing really to lose while vegetating one night. Honestly, I enjoyed it way more than I expected. John Krasinski carries the entire film with wit and charm, which is pretty much the reason to watch it. If you do not care about sensical logic in your adventure films (see: National Treasure and The Mummy films), I would recommend it.

It's a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a library card, must be in want of a book. As this particular single man perused the stacks of the downtown Boulder library one fine autumn afternoon, he found his eyes drawn drawn to the title "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". As he read the back cover, he mused that since he had never found time to read the original Austen novel, perhaps he ought to start with that instead.

As a hopeless romantic with Heathcliffian aspirations, I have watched at least two film versions and one miniseries adaptation of the story; the Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen film being a particular favorite. Who does not daydream of striding across a misty moor first thing in the morning with a dashing long coat and partially open shirt? And being rich enough to afford an estate like Pemberley. Well!

Anyhow. It's a funny thing to admit that this book has lingered on my to do list for nearly thirty years, but here we are. I doubt I would have enjoyed it even half as much as a teenager as I did as an adult. And seeing the adaptations did help bring the words more to life, as the book's humor could be subtler than modern works and much of the drama unfolds via letters in the book, opposed to direct interactions between people, as in the films. Also, Mrs. Bennet was far more tiresome in the book than in the adaptations, but I do appreciate Donald Sutherland's portrayal of Mr. Bennet even more. I also found a deeper appreciation for both Jane and Lydia this time, since I could slow down and reread earlier passages to better understand their stories and personalities.

All said in done, it was an enjoyable read. And I do not think anything was lost by seeing the movie adapatations first. Inn fact, I would almost recommend that approach just to have a better visualization of the scenery and time period.

Scrolling through my Instagram Explore feed this evening, I came across this series of landscape photographs with cloud creatures (spirits?) drawn on top of them by artist Vorja Sánchez.

Each creation starts with a photograph taken during his hikes around northern Spain. He then draws directly over the image, following the natural movement of the clouds until something recognizable takes shape, a serpent, a spirit, or something in between.

The result blurs the line between nature and imagination, as if the sky itself were alive.

The artist has more drawings on their website but the one above is probably my favorite, although "Creative Process" is a close second.

I was all set to post an entry about how I was ready to start dating again. I spent over a week writing it—reviewing photos, emails, texts, and Instagram posts—and reflecting on what I had learned this year and how I would do things differently. And then I overheard two women at a cafe talking about their relationships and one was admitting that she was feeling indifferent to what her man felt and was already looking forward to dating other people.

Maybe I am not ready after all. I have so many books I could read instead. Ah, good, safe, reliable books. They might not love me back, but at least they won’t make me cry—well, except Bridge to Terabithia.