– the blog –

6 Months to 40

Hello there. Wow, the summer went fast. I swear it just started a month ago and now we’re squarely in September. I can barely remember spring too. Really meant to go for more bike rides, more trail runs, climb more mountains, ascend more rock faces, and now…well the daylight hours are getting fewer and the daily temperatures are slowly lowering.

That means it is Autumn! Yay! Yessss! Back to jacket wearing weather and no more lethargic summer afternoons where you try to work on your computer but end up with a glazed expression—your singular thought is how long until the nighttime when the heat lessens just enough to let you sleep, but only if you have a fan blowing.

It occurred to me this morning that I am now less than 6 months away from my 40th birthday. These are the last months of my 30s! They’re almost over! Goodness, how the time flies. The speed of the summer and that realization just makes me acutely aware of how I do not have time for all the things I want to do.

There is a standalone, open-sourced social network that I would love to build an instance of so I can play with it. Would love to get back in serious shape for both biking and running, so I can do the ultra-distances that I have a yearning for. My indoor bouldering skills are coming along, but it sure would be nice to spend entire weeks at Smith Rock or Leavenworth working on sport and trad routes. Oh, and skiing season is coming up. Gotta get back in shape for that. Gotta catch up on Doctor Who before Jodie Whittaker’s season starts, and I discovered Rick and Morty this year and find it strange, twisted, and oddly compelling. Also, just put a hold on three more books at the library and have a long New Yorker article bookmarked that is begging for attention.

So. Many. Things. To Do. What about Denali next year? New job? What about moving abroad? Would love to go do another long hike. And, let’s be honest, I need to keep on socking away money for the future too.

Only so much time and energy to do All the Things™. Not sure age really has anything to do with that. However, the ol’ joints and recovery times definitely are a factor in how much I can fit into every week athletically. It is a challenge to do a full work week, climb multiple times at the gym, head outside during the weekend, fit in a run or bike ride whenever I can, and then not feel completely exhausted. Recovery proceeds at a noticeably reduced rate at 39 compared to 30. Protein shakes, recovery walks, rest days, and stretching are helpful but I have definite limits in how much I can do without feeling rubbish the next day.

Picking and choosing is hard. And that is always on my mind. What to choose, what to choose, what to choose. And then on the flip side, what to give up, what to sacrifice, what to let go of in pursuit of other goals. You cannot have it all.

Hell if I know what is really going to be worthwhile in the long run either. Maybe a new job will have a project that captures my interest and leads to long term employment with a company I trust. A Denali trip could end with severe frost bite and even possibly death, or it could lead to even more challenging climbs in the North Cascades or abroad.

A bit of insight would be handy. Oh dear, I just paused and thought for a moment. This is why people like horoscopes despite them being utter bullshit. Ugh. I am not sure how that is any better than making choices by pulling ideas out of a hat. At least with randomness I would feel less irrational, somehow.

Well, I promised someone a blog entry and here it is. And now it ends abruptly without conclusion.