Damn Moody, Sir
Suffering from a case of chronic crankiness, which in turn leads to extreme frustration as crankiness typically prevents me from doing anything really proactive. Been watching a whole lot of DVDs these past few days. Did finish two books and write a few hundred lines of code, so I do not feel like a total mental slacker.
Really, I think it goes back to when I got off the trail on Thursday night. Last week, I backpacked the Washington portion of the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) from the Bridge of the Gods up to Huckleberry Mountain. Originally, I was planning to continue from that point up into the Indian Heaven Wilderness, but there were two reports of deep snow just another five or six miles after Huckleberry Mountain. By itself that would rarely be a reason to stop from continuing on but coupled with the fact that I was extremely bored hiking eight hours a day by myself did. So, I did an about face and hiked the 8.5 miles back from Huckleberry Mountain to the Wind River Highway, and then was lucky enough to hitch a ride into Carson in the first ten minutes. Then, nothing.
No one gave me a ride after that point. Dozens and dozens of vehicles went by me at the Carson intersection with Highway 14. People saw me or, oh so lovingly, pretended not to, and they kept on going. As Stevenson was only four and a half miles away, I simply gave up after a while and just walked alongside the highway. That was all sorts of unpleasant.
Got to Stevenson and got a rather tasty chocolate milkshake at my favorite ice cream shop on that side of the Columbia Gorge. Strangely, while there, I got hit on by a girl just out of high school working there for the summer. Felt like pulling out my driver's license and indicating that, excuse me, I'm old, please stop. Ah, you see, the crankiness had begun.
Tried to hitch again at the edge of Stevenson without any luck. My faith in humanity sure looked nice swirling down the toilet bowl of broken dreams. Though, I must say, Obama's primary campaign promises sparkled a bit more when they went down.
During my little hike along the highway, I pulled out my iPhone and checked my voicemail and email for the first time in over three days. Amelia had called asking for a housing reference, so I called her back and left a message. Then, about a mile from the car, I pulled out the phone again and discovered that I had cracked the screen, probably by putting my backpack on top of it during my last break. Crappity crap crap. Thankfully, the darn thing still worked even with the cracked screen. Still, not exactly a welcome event after being dirty and exhausted and callously ignored by my fellow man.
You know, this story of crankiness goes on for a while. Let's stay away from the fine details.
Oregon Brewfest was noisy, smelly, and crowded. I went with friends but left after half an hour without having a single beer, and then spent two hours in Powell's being my Reedie self. Tried Kell's later but it had the same problem. On the way there an amazingly drunk guy tried to punch me. His face met a nearby wall with rather little of my assistance. Dan got too tipsy and blurted something out that I really wish he had not. Met someone, again, who reminded me of my complicated Reed life of yore and lore. End Saturday.
Tried to see if my iPhone damage could be fixed under warranty. Nope, $250 to replace entire device and would have to wait about a week. Spent $200 to buy a new iPhone 3G instead, after waiting in line for an hour and a half. Monthly budget? We ain't got no monthly budget! Almost hit a biker on the way home when they ran a stop sign. Traffic laws? Who needs to follow those?
Nothing really eventful after Sunday, but it has just been a gradual build up. Everywhere I bike around PDX there are idiots zooming through stop signs without even pausing to check for cars or other bikes. Coming home three nights ago, a Speedy Gonzales wannabe was passing people recklessly on the Hawthorne Bridge and then through Ladd's Addition thinking he was da shit. Friends, he was not. I passed his overly tattooed ass up a hill without even trying. Let's not even talk about the fact there are likely more people biking without helmets than with them in PDX.
Was reading up on PHP, programming, and EllisLab events yesterday. Been ignoring all three for about a month, but I like to keep informed and up to date. You know, more than half the people out there passing themselves off as PHP experts seem to have no clue how to write a program for any audience greater than themselves. I even read a fascinating article by one fellow on how to make prospective developers cry during their interviews. Disappointing and frustrating all around. And why is Flickr headquartered down in California? They do some really fascinating work and I would really enjoy expanding a service I greatly enjoy, but I do not want to love down there.
My housing situation is displeasing me a bit too. I would love to do a bit of programming at home, but the atmosphere is just killing any groove for it. One neighbor has chickens that cluck all morning and another has a crying baby they keep on taking outside in the afternoon. Natalie is out of town for two weeks, which is actually rather nice (even though she took my nail clippers without asking). Whenever she is here it feels odd for me to do anything in the house. Out of my bedroom, virtually nothing upstairs is mine and the basement is semi-crowded with her stuff. It is not easy to feel at home when the house does not feel even remotely yours. She has has the habit of using the kitchen and not cleaning anything up before leaving, leaving lights on, using her A/C unite to cool her bedroom (and sometimes the entire house when I am gone), and the most annoying habit of leaving the closet door open right in front of my room. We get along, but we do not groove. I have been looking for a new place on Craigslist periodically, but I am torn between wanting both the city life but the country living, all without having to drive anywhere.
And, kind of overhanging this entire crankiness is that Kathryn and I broke up about two weeks ago. Nothing wrong with the 'us' exactly, more the fact that we were both trying to fit our lives into a relationship. instead of having a relationship in our lives. It was not working out, more for me than for her. Inevitable complications, emotions, and conversations are hard to resist and I am not sure it is going well. One of the reasons I jumped into the woods for a few days.
Right, well, I feel a bit better getting a bit of that written down and thrown into the digital sea for all to see. Now for a late lunch and perhaps a nap.
Really, I think it goes back to when I got off the trail on Thursday night. Last week, I backpacked the Washington portion of the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) from the Bridge of the Gods up to Huckleberry Mountain. Originally, I was planning to continue from that point up into the Indian Heaven Wilderness, but there were two reports of deep snow just another five or six miles after Huckleberry Mountain. By itself that would rarely be a reason to stop from continuing on but coupled with the fact that I was extremely bored hiking eight hours a day by myself did. So, I did an about face and hiked the 8.5 miles back from Huckleberry Mountain to the Wind River Highway, and then was lucky enough to hitch a ride into Carson in the first ten minutes. Then, nothing.
No one gave me a ride after that point. Dozens and dozens of vehicles went by me at the Carson intersection with Highway 14. People saw me or, oh so lovingly, pretended not to, and they kept on going. As Stevenson was only four and a half miles away, I simply gave up after a while and just walked alongside the highway. That was all sorts of unpleasant.
Got to Stevenson and got a rather tasty chocolate milkshake at my favorite ice cream shop on that side of the Columbia Gorge. Strangely, while there, I got hit on by a girl just out of high school working there for the summer. Felt like pulling out my driver's license and indicating that, excuse me, I'm old, please stop. Ah, you see, the crankiness had begun.
Tried to hitch again at the edge of Stevenson without any luck. My faith in humanity sure looked nice swirling down the toilet bowl of broken dreams. Though, I must say, Obama's primary campaign promises sparkled a bit more when they went down.
During my little hike along the highway, I pulled out my iPhone and checked my voicemail and email for the first time in over three days. Amelia had called asking for a housing reference, so I called her back and left a message. Then, about a mile from the car, I pulled out the phone again and discovered that I had cracked the screen, probably by putting my backpack on top of it during my last break. Crappity crap crap. Thankfully, the darn thing still worked even with the cracked screen. Still, not exactly a welcome event after being dirty and exhausted and callously ignored by my fellow man.
You know, this story of crankiness goes on for a while. Let's stay away from the fine details.
Oregon Brewfest was noisy, smelly, and crowded. I went with friends but left after half an hour without having a single beer, and then spent two hours in Powell's being my Reedie self. Tried Kell's later but it had the same problem. On the way there an amazingly drunk guy tried to punch me. His face met a nearby wall with rather little of my assistance. Dan got too tipsy and blurted something out that I really wish he had not. Met someone, again, who reminded me of my complicated Reed life of yore and lore. End Saturday.
Tried to see if my iPhone damage could be fixed under warranty. Nope, $250 to replace entire device and would have to wait about a week. Spent $200 to buy a new iPhone 3G instead, after waiting in line for an hour and a half. Monthly budget? We ain't got no monthly budget! Almost hit a biker on the way home when they ran a stop sign. Traffic laws? Who needs to follow those?
Nothing really eventful after Sunday, but it has just been a gradual build up. Everywhere I bike around PDX there are idiots zooming through stop signs without even pausing to check for cars or other bikes. Coming home three nights ago, a Speedy Gonzales wannabe was passing people recklessly on the Hawthorne Bridge and then through Ladd's Addition thinking he was da shit. Friends, he was not. I passed his overly tattooed ass up a hill without even trying. Let's not even talk about the fact there are likely more people biking without helmets than with them in PDX.
Was reading up on PHP, programming, and EllisLab events yesterday. Been ignoring all three for about a month, but I like to keep informed and up to date. You know, more than half the people out there passing themselves off as PHP experts seem to have no clue how to write a program for any audience greater than themselves. I even read a fascinating article by one fellow on how to make prospective developers cry during their interviews. Disappointing and frustrating all around. And why is Flickr headquartered down in California? They do some really fascinating work and I would really enjoy expanding a service I greatly enjoy, but I do not want to love down there.
My housing situation is displeasing me a bit too. I would love to do a bit of programming at home, but the atmosphere is just killing any groove for it. One neighbor has chickens that cluck all morning and another has a crying baby they keep on taking outside in the afternoon. Natalie is out of town for two weeks, which is actually rather nice (even though she took my nail clippers without asking). Whenever she is here it feels odd for me to do anything in the house. Out of my bedroom, virtually nothing upstairs is mine and the basement is semi-crowded with her stuff. It is not easy to feel at home when the house does not feel even remotely yours. She has has the habit of using the kitchen and not cleaning anything up before leaving, leaving lights on, using her A/C unite to cool her bedroom (and sometimes the entire house when I am gone), and the most annoying habit of leaving the closet door open right in front of my room. We get along, but we do not groove. I have been looking for a new place on Craigslist periodically, but I am torn between wanting both the city life but the country living, all without having to drive anywhere.
And, kind of overhanging this entire crankiness is that Kathryn and I broke up about two weeks ago. Nothing wrong with the 'us' exactly, more the fact that we were both trying to fit our lives into a relationship. instead of having a relationship in our lives. It was not working out, more for me than for her. Inevitable complications, emotions, and conversations are hard to resist and I am not sure it is going well. One of the reasons I jumped into the woods for a few days.
Right, well, I feel a bit better getting a bit of that written down and thrown into the digital sea for all to see. Now for a late lunch and perhaps a nap.
– Wednesday, 2008 July 30 @ 12:35 PM | 3 Comments -